You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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