How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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