I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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