he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
