Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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