you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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