I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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