so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
