Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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