My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
