we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
