I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
