i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
