a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
