yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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