Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have tasted many bathrooms
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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