I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
