The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
