I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we're making bets on your personal life
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
