Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
