We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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