Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
