Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
