i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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