wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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