No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
