If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
