she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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