Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
