you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
