he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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