did you get engaged???
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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