i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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