So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
