I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
