i don't like sucking hair
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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