are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
