He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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