Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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