Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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