Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
