He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
