what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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