1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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