She is in my trunk
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You are a genius and a whore.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
