But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
