he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
