god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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