Betty ford says i'm here all night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my shit smells like andre
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
