I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
