On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
