just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
