I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
